Sometimes I
think that he gave each of us our own weaknesses. It’s almost like he thought, “This
is going to be Krystal, and her flaws are going to be numerous because I think if
she needs to work harder to overcome them, she’ll have a greater faith in me.
But her greatest weakness, the one she’ll work hardest to overcome, will be
grudges, bitterness and forgiveness.”
Alas, here I
am.
Many
questions, many struggles, many weaknesses and the greatest of these is the
anger I feel toward those who’ve wronged me or the ones I love.
How many
times does he tell us through the Bible that he wants us to love others?
“A new
command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one
another.” – John 13:34-35
“And now
these three remain: Faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.” –
1 Corinthians 13
“Dear
friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves
has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God,
because God is love.” – 1 John 4:7-8
He never
says, “Dear child, you don’t have to love the people who are mean to you.”
And therein
lies my greatest challenge.
You see, I
tend to like most people. I hate no one. But when I feel wronged or distrustful
of another person, I’m the clam who initiates her force field. I don’t speak to
you. I don’t look at you. It’s like you’ve disappeared from the face of this
earth.
It is then I
must pray, seek forgiveness and the strength to let go of that anger and
embrace love. Easier said than done, but since I have done it, I know I can do
it again.
Right now, I
find myself angry at people very near and dear to my heart. I feel wronged,
unloved and a lot of bitterness. I can’t seem to rid my mind of the pain or the
anger. There are few people, upon hearing the story, who wouldn’t say, “You
have every right to feel this way.” The problem is that I know God wouldn’t say
that.
In fact, as
it is written in Galatians 5:14, “The entire law is summed up in a single
command: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’”
It doesn’t
get any clearer than that now does it?
But among
those weaknesses God gave me, he threw in a little bit of saving grace. Anger
brews, yes, but not for long. I can’t hold a grudge.
He knew that
too for Psalm 30:5 says, “For his anger lasts only a moment, but his favor
lasts a lifetime; weeping may remain for a night, but rejoicing comes in the
morning.”
I’m still a
work in progress, and God has his work cut out for him. But so do I for that
matter. I’m trying to obey him, follow his commandments and strengthen my
faith. I’ve got a lot to work on, and I pray for his continued guidance in this
journey. He’s given me the manual. I know what I must do, but it’s not easy.
I must seek
his grace for as Paul recounted in 2 Corinthians 12:9: “But he said to me, ‘My
grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.’
Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s
power may rest on me.”
I’m weak. He’s
strong. Even in pain, I can overcome with his almighty grace, forgiveness and
love.
