'Tiger Mother' not lacking in approach

I first heard about the “Tiger Mother” on Facebook when a friend in Colorado, who doesn’t have children, asked what mothers thought of Amy Chua’s controversial parenting techniques.

I was the only person who answered.

When I, too, asked friends to comment about her book, it was the same muted response.

Do parents even care about the “Tiger Mother” or has the media overblown this author’s attempt to explain much stricter Asian parenting styles through her controversial book, “Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother?”

Regardless, I couldn’t resist writing about her parenting styles.

And you’ll find I won’t be critical of her methods, just asI would expect her not to be directly critical of how I raise my children.

If you haven’t heard about the “Tiger Mother,” let me explain.

Chua is a Yale professor of Chinese descent who uses the book to explain her tough-as-nails parenting style, comparing it, in contrast, to a more lax Western parenting style.

For example, her daughters aren’t allowed to have sleep-overs, playdates or any grade lower than an A on their report cards. They can only play the violin or the piano, and practicing those instruments takes hours. Her children aren’t allowed to chose their own extra-curricular activities, and she was once ostracized from a dinner party for calling her daughter “garbage” for not showing her respect.

And none of this shocked me when I first read the excerpts from Chua’s book. Although I wouldn’t necessarily chose some of the routes she took in raising her daughters, who am I to say it’s wrong?

First, I am one of those semi-lax Western mothers.

Second, my children are still children. My success as a parent, in my opinion, will be contingent upon how my sons tackle their teenager years and travel into adulthood.

Chua can write a book like she did because her methods have seemingly worked thus far with her daughters. Had her girls, ages 15 and 18, rebelled by burning their instruments in protest, I doubt the book would’ve even made it to the publisher.

But more than any of that, I think the parenting style is just that — a style. Let’s face it — Chua is still being a parent. And who can argue with that?

In my job, harsh reality tends to slap me in the face. On almost a daily basis, I read national, state and even local stories about abusive parents who have harmed or taken the life of their innocent children.

Those people aren’t parents. They’re monsters.

The fact of the matter is that Chua is not afraid to be a parent, nor is she afraid to admit what kind of parent she is. It doesn’t shock any of us because her children are alive, well taken care of, adjusted and enjoying success in their lives.

If we don’t agree with Chua’s methods, then we just do it differently. The important thing, in terms of parenting, is that we do it.