I remember my first glimpse of you. It was foggy, things were blurred and the room was chaos, but there you were ... As perfect as I ever imagined you'd be.
I could never forget how you left. Neither you nor I had a choice in the matter. I just knew I had to see you again quickly — no matter what it took.
When I saw you again, I could only weep.
But then I touched you, soft and tenderly, just a brush against your skin, but enough to renew my desire to love you until the end of time.
And, then one day, the clouds parted and God's glory rained upon us, and you were mine to hold for the rest of my life.
My life was changed; it was you who changed it.
For the better. For the worse. For the end of my days.
It's hard to believe it has been 16 years since you entered my life.
I can't count the hugs you've given me, or the hugs I've stolen. I couldn't begin to add up the number of times you've made me laugh, smile or even cry. And you'll never know just how many times I've watched you sleep, or stared at you from a distance, knowing it was you who made me who I am.
With your 16th birthday approaching ever so quickly, I can only tell you my heart bursts with joy, pride and love whenever I think of you.
Oh, I worry. And then I pray. About you. For you.
But you've also brought me so much peace.
That's because I know you're a young man who loves his Lord and Savior. I know you're a man of character, trustworthy and true. You work hard, love with loyalty and tease with the spirit of a child.
Your story is only beginning. We are merely a few chapters in, and there's so much more left for you to write. Not me. You. I only wrote the prelude. The rest is up to you.
I know those chapters will be filled with mistakes. The paper will be crumpled, and the pen will run out of ink. But our God will be there, even when I'm not, to make sure the chapters are filled with love and the story will be one worth telling.
Oh, I know my gushiness will turn your cheeks pink. You'll roll your eyes and probably think I've lost my mind. It's OK. I understand. My parents were dorks, too.
Just know it was you who helped shape me into the woman I am today. You allowed me countless trials and errors. But more than anything you taught me how to love children, and I truly believe God's plans for me have always been to love His children.
In Ecclesiastes 3:1, it says: "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens."
In just a few short years, I will have to release you to the world. I won't be able to catch you when you jump out of the nest. I can only pray that you'll fly.
Your potential is infinite as long as you always believe in yourself and trust in the Lord.
As the next few years pass too quickly, you'll just have to pardon me if I love a little stronger. And if you catch me staring, just know I'm merely preserving memories.
I could've never imagined 16 years ago as I cried next to that NICU incubator that the days that followed would pass this quickly. I never pictured that 5-pound baby towering over me, picking me up off the ground or driving out of the driveway on his own.
But here you stand.
A young man.
And I couldn't be prouder of who you've become.
August 14, 1999, changed my life. It made me a mother, and I thank you for that.
I love you.
Sincerely,
Your Biggest Fan
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